The things kids learn in school these days...

"Mommy, today I taught Delia how to eat her boogers. I told her, 'if the grownups forget to give you a snack, you can just eat these.' But I haven't taught her about eating the eye stuff yet."

"I'm sure her parents will be thrilled."

(discussion follows re: hygiene and public opinion)

Kids are like monkeys

Lily was in the bath. She rubbed her finger across the top of her nose, found something there, and put it in her mouth.

"Lily, what did you just eat?"

"It wasn't a booger, Mommy"

"Okay, but do you know what it was?"

"No."

Wonderings, and The Best Intentions Perhaps Gone Awry

"Mommy, do princesses poo?"

"Yes, Lily. Everyone poos, no matter who they are."

"Oh." . . . (long pause) . . . "Do princesses have fancy poo?"

"No. It's just poo."

(then added for my own amusement)

"I don't think poo could ever be fancy unless someone ate a lot of glitter, then maybe the poo would sparkle. . . "

(realizing my mistake - Lily might want her poo to sparkle - and backtracking)

" . . . but eating glitter wouldn't be good for your body."

"Oh."

What should I do next?

Molly recently gave one of her old bathing suits to Lily. It is a one piece, with multicolored hearts against a black background, with ruffles along the neck and a built in skirt. A cute girly-suit my stepmom, Shi Wei picked up in China a few years ago. Lily wore it this weekend. I was folding it up and for the first time really recognized that there was writing on the suit as well. As many words as hearts, but I'd never given them much notice as they just seemed part of the design. Well, I thought I'd read them. This is what they say, over and over, covering the entire suit.

"Love affair"

"Love affair was gone"

"Sweet Lovers"

"Gone Happiness"

BART Haiku, March 20, 2008

Man in a plaid suit
Swinging bag of bloody meat
Disturbing dinner

BART Haiku March 19, 2008

Franciscan friar
Robed in white, sits next to me
Dear God, I giggle.

Coincidence or Conspiracy?

Last week I read a book whose main character is named "Thursday." Imagine my surprise when I opened a new book this week with a main character named "Wednesday."

A Warm and Happy Place

We met this sculpture over the weekend at the De Young museum in San Francisco. Shaun and the girls and I were picnicking around Golden Gate park and found this happy spot directly in front of the sculpture. Actually, I saw the sculpture and chose the spot. Shaun came up later and commented, "of course my wife chooses to sit directly in front of the vagina." Which I did. And not only did I get to enjoy the artwork, but I was able to watch a slow but steady progression of children (including my own) who walked up to the sculpture, felt the vagina hole, and then climbed inside. One little boy, about four years old, sat for a moment in the vagina. Then a big smile came over his face and he exclaimed to no one in particular, "I love it in here!"

I wondered if the artist intended or expected this to occur, and if, perhaps, the artist ever spent time with his or her vagina, watching the public response.

The Amazing Power of Deductive Reasoning

A Bit of History

My grandmother (mom's side) died a few years back and while we were cleaning out her apartment (actually, we were looking for anything we wanted to have), I took several diaries and papers showing family history. They have been sitting in a bag on a shelf, unopened since I returned from her funeral. I've been thinking about them for a few months now and finally took a look. One of the diaries begins during World War II, when she was in her early 20s, dating my Grandfather who was about to be sent off to war. She hmms and haws about whether or not she really likes him, then a few months pass and suddenly they're married and pregnant and he's on a ship overseas and she's madly in love. I'm up to her eighth month of pregnancy (I'm a little concerned because she's happy about losing ten pounds, but I guess my mom was born and lived so I can let it go), he's landed in England, and has just told her that he learned that her brother made it there safely as well. They write to each other every day, sometimes twice, but the letters take a long time to reach each other. Most of the pages are filled with her daily doings -- cleaning, eating, teaching her mother shorthand, fighting with her sister. But the context is so interesting.

Anti-Music

Buskers often entertain us with blues, classical, mexican, bluegrass, rock, you name it, as we go to and from the trains through the BART station. The other day, a bedraggled man with matted hair and a long beard pulled out his violin. I actually doubt that it was his violin, only because it seemed like he had never played one before. He energetically (madly) drew the bow back and forth across the strings, making angry screeching noises. I did, at first, give him the benefit of the doubt, thinking perhaps it was some avant-guard performance. But after a few minutes of listening while I purchased my bart ticket, I came to the firm conclusion that he did not know how to play the violin, and was in fact purposely playing anti-music. I wish I had checked to see if he had the case out in hopes of dollars, because now I wonder if he were playing only to annoy, or whether he genuinely hoped some commuters would appreciate his (insane?) effort.

Lily, age 5

"How was school today, Lily?"

"No one played with me today."

"Really? Well who did you play with?"

"Just Sadie and Rosa, they were the only ones who played with me."

"And what did you play?"

"Pirates."

"Oooh. And were you a pirate?"

"No, I was a unicorn."

"I see. So was Sadie a pirate?"

"No, she was a unicorn."

"And what was Rosa?"

"A unicorn."

"Oh. Were there any pirates in your game?"

"No."

"Well, that sounds like a fun game."

"It was."

I still think it was a party.

On a beautfiful Sunday morning, Shaun and I and the girls made our way on foot from our house to the Thai Temple for a Berkeley brunch. On the way we passed the neighborhood halfway house and as we approached, it sounded like a gathering was taking place, with many gay voices chattering away. How nice, I thought, that they would do something festive on a sunny Sunday. But when I looked in the yard, there were only four or five people. Each was talking to him or herself.

If I Had My Very Own Parking Place...

Quickest Way To Heaven

In Erie, PA one can get fried cheesecake. So we did. It's your basic cheesecake wedge that has been rolled in egg whites and bread crumbs and then dropped into the deep fat fryer. The result is a tasty, warm and crunchy outside and your traditional cool cheesecake inside. Mmmmmm.

Christmas List

Molly suggested we get Lily a "time-out" chair for Christmas this year. I'm considering it.

I'm back

Or least I'm not completely gone anymore. Finished my last final yesterday. Maybe now I'll notice the world around me and have something to say again. I did notice yesterday evening after the last final (shouldn't every final be the last?), over beers with my fellow tired law students that we could barely speak to each other. There was lots of sighing, a few groans over remembered exams, then general commiserating over how it was time to rejoin the world -- do laundry, shave beards (not me). Alice commented that she might try to explore the city a bit this vacation -- she's been here two years and hasn't seen anything other then what occurs along the route to and from school. Caroline announced that she plans to go grocery shopping, noting she was reduced to eating old peanutbutter sandwich crusts for dinner last night. I also noticed that suffering is much more fun in a group environment.

I have nothing to say.

Gay Rights

My friend Jessica has a young, enthusiastic son whom she took grocery shopping the other day. They were in a bit of a hurry, made it to the grocercy store, where outside, as they gathered their shopping cart, they heard an activist provocatively question shoppers as they ingressed and egressed, "who has time for gay rights?" Theo turns to his mom, and says (enthusiastically), "we don't have time for gay rights, do we mom?"

Gardens in the Hood

I am a fan of low-maintenance gardening. In fact, I take it a step further to no-maintenance gardening. To my visitors who view my backyard, I simply explain, "I'm going for the wild jungle look."


I'm not alone in my endeavors (or lack thereof). I have come to appreciate certain neighborhood gardens which are vibrant, though infinitely practical. Take for instance this small front garden on King street:




It has become more lush (lushier?) over time, the flowers never die, and they never have to be watered. If you can't tell from the photograph, all the flowers are plastic. Across the street, is another garden which has gone one step further by adding plastic birds and paper butterflies (a more natural effect, I think).


There is, however, one garden, along the front of a house of iniquity (alleged), that makes me feel both hope -- someone had good intentions -- and pain. This garden has been there for about a year now. I think images speak louder than words: