I don't get it

Bloomingdales opened in San Francisco this week. I only know this because I passed it on my way to school and people had lined up around a city block, waiting for the store to open. Hundreds of people. It's just another store selling shit people don't need. The shit will still be there after opening day. There will be future sales on the shit. I just don't get it. Is shopping for entertainment even more entertaining when one does it with hordes of people who storm the building en masse, like ants on a piece of turkey?

Geek Alert?

I asked Molly, my almost-eight-year-old, who she's been playing with at school.

"Andrea, but our games are getting kind of boring and she never just wants to hang out and talk. So today I talked to Clare."

"Oh, and what did you talk about?"

"Dental care."

I'll admit it, this advice will work for just about any problem.

I write the diary of a 13 year old girl for a website. Each week she asks the readers for advice. Once in a while, she gets a gem:

You can Talk to a cat about your problem then strangle it so it wont tell anybody then throw it in a lake for safe keeping just in case. Send me 100 bucks while you're at it because you got to admit that's good advice. Box face.

Jessica, age 11

Silent Scream

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

Sugar and Spice

Lily came up and gave me a snuggle and a kiss the other morning, and I told her she was a nice little girl. She responded in a sing-song, "I'm nice. But not for lo-ong."

Fall is Here

The weather changed over night. Cool air, strong breeze, warm sun set low in the sky. I love fall.

Lawn Update

It looks like my neighbor has decided to be a bit more proactive about growing his lawn. He added several additional clumps of crab grass around the new patch. I estimate that this will reduce the completion time by at least a year, maybe two.

Lawn in the 'Hood

For four years now, I have been watching my neighbor slowly grow his lawn. I laughed when I first noticed he had planted a small clump of crab grass in the center of a square of dirt on one side of his walkway. But he watered it diligently through the summers, and even ran his electric mower over that little patch every week to keep it nice and trim. Now, four years later, it has spread almost completely to the edges. By the end of next summer, he will have a solid bit of lawn.

This summer, after killing off the weeds and carefully turning the soil, he planted a single clump of crab grass on the other side of his walkway. In another five years (assuming the other side doesn't die off before then) he should have a beautiful lawn spanning the front of his home.

I've reasoned that he chose this method for economic reasons, or perhaps convenience. He could have procured the clump from a friend, or maybe from his back yard. I've never planted a lawn myself -- maybe seeds are expensive? Or hard to come by?

What I really want to know is why he didn't plant both sides at the same time. Ten years seems like an awfully long time to wait for a lawn.