Pat meets up with a bunch of old friends in the pub. One, let's call him John, introduces Pat to his wife, a woman of rather large proportions. Pat says hello, then rejoins his other buddies. Mick leans over to Pat and says,
"Sure now, you've heard John's been having trouble with his wife?"
Pat says no, ready to hear a story about the usual marital issues - fighting, adultery, etc.
"Well, the other day, she was going down the stairs and didn't she get stuck between the bannister and the wall. They had to call the fire department to get her out."
Monday, December 25, 2006
Monday, December 11, 2006
New York - opening scene
Jessica and I are visiting my sister Amanda in New York this weekend. It all started off well, with Jess and I arriving at Penn Station at 5pm on Saturday. We emerged to the surface, me toting my coffin-sized wheelie bag, only to find that the weekend holiday revelers had beat us there and we (my bag, that is) didn't fit on the sidewalk. A friendly Irish gentleman asked me (unsolicited, because the Irish are like that) if I needed any help. I thanked him, but said no. He then warned me to look out for police officers because they were likely to arrest me for having a bag so large in this part of town. Ha Ha.
I can blame Eliza for my torment since my bag is only so large because I'm transporting necessary goods to her in Ireland.
We called Amanda to verify which subway train to take to her neighborhood. Unfortunately, the choices were "E" "D" or "3", and my cell phone connection was poor. So, Jess and I walked down the block to a hotel and had the hotel person hail us a cab.
I can blame Eliza for my torment since my bag is only so large because I'm transporting necessary goods to her in Ireland.
We called Amanda to verify which subway train to take to her neighborhood. Unfortunately, the choices were "E" "D" or "3", and my cell phone connection was poor. So, Jess and I walked down the block to a hotel and had the hotel person hail us a cab.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Federal Court Cites Ludacris
United States v. Murphy, 406 F.3d 857
On the evening of May 29, 2003, Hayden was smoking crack with three other folks at a trailer park home on Chain of Rocks Road in Granite City, Illinois. Murphy, Sr., who had sold drugs to Hayden several years earlier, showed up later that night. He was friendly at first, but he soon called Hayden a "snitch bitch hoe" n1 and hit her in the head with the back of his hand. He said he saw her name in discovery materials from his son's criminal case and that she was responsible for putting him in jail. He put a gun -- a small chrome-plated one -- to her head and said he was going to kill her for putting his son in jail. He said this would be her last night and her body would be found in a ditch. Murphy then placed several calls, telling Hayden he was calling his people to get someone to dispose of her car.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - Footnotes - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
n1 The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called her a snitch bitch "hoe." A "hoe," of course, is a tool used for weeding and gardening. We think the court reporter, unfamiliar with rap music (perhaps thankfully so), misunderstood Hayden's response. We have taken the liberty of changing "hoe" to "ho," a staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris raps "You doin' ho activities with ho tendencies."
On the evening of May 29, 2003, Hayden was smoking crack with three other folks at a trailer park home on Chain of Rocks Road in Granite City, Illinois. Murphy, Sr., who had sold drugs to Hayden several years earlier, showed up later that night. He was friendly at first, but he soon called Hayden a "snitch bitch hoe" n1 and hit her in the head with the back of his hand. He said he saw her name in discovery materials from his son's criminal case and that she was responsible for putting him in jail. He put a gun -- a small chrome-plated one -- to her head and said he was going to kill her for putting his son in jail. He said this would be her last night and her body would be found in a ditch. Murphy then placed several calls, telling Hayden he was calling his people to get someone to dispose of her car.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - Footnotes - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
n1 The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called her a snitch bitch "hoe." A "hoe," of course, is a tool used for weeding and gardening. We think the court reporter, unfamiliar with rap music (perhaps thankfully so), misunderstood Hayden's response. We have taken the liberty of changing "hoe" to "ho," a staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris raps "You doin' ho activities with ho tendencies."
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