Cramming galore. Definitely not sane. Feeling excited that it's almost over and suffering from regular anxiety attacks because I'm almost out of time... two weeks left! My dream anxieties are completely focused on my hair. I've got bald spots, I'm completely gray, my hair falls out in handfuls. Fortunately, not happening in real life. At least not the balding part. As Lily announced to her kindergarten class and all the parents on the last day of school, "this picture of hair dye reminds me of my mom because she dyes her hair." I love hair dye.
Today I woke up at 3:30 in the morning and started studying because I couldn't sleep. At 8:45 am I started cutting down a dead tree. I was still wearing my bathrobe and nightgown. I was waiting with Molly in my driveway for my cousin Gabby to pick up Molly for Girls' Rock camp (Molly's band is called "Vomit Punks" except the shirt stencil didn't work so her band T just says "vomit"), and noticed that the dead tree was likely to fall onto our car. It's been dead (the tree) and next to our car for about four years, but today it seemed particularly problematic. It's actually on our neighbor's property so I TRESSPASSED on their land by removing the tree, but I had the defense of NECESSITY to prevent the greater harm of the tree falling on my car which would have resutled in the neighbor's TRESSPASS TO MY CHATTEL. These thoughts were going through my head while I cut away, so technically, it counted as studying. Gabby arrived to pick up Molly and yelled out the window "Emily, you look crazy" so I stopped.
Flashcarded for a while in the living room, but then couldn't resist the call of the dead tree. Showered and put on exercise clothing so I wouldn't look "crazy," then went out and tore the tree down with my bare hands. Actually I used a branch cutter and pretended it was my bare hands. It felt really good. It was a small tree, but just the right size to relieve some of my stress, especially when I beat the branches down so they'd fit into the compost container. I was under the delusion that I was totally in control until I got the chance to crush something... Then I went back inside and did more flashcards. Like nothing had happened.
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